I thought Phuket was supposed to be this lovely little beach community where people went to relax and be peaceful. Don't ask me why I thought that, I'm sure it's just ignorance. It's a hell hole. But more on that later!

Before we arrived in Phuket, we spent a few days (including New Years Eve) in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Phnom Pehn seems like a really really awesome place... if you're a 60 year old single white male and looking for a young girl to help you forget your loneliness. Most places we went seemed to have old dudes with young ladies awkwardly "enjoying" each other's company. Also, the Killing Fields are really fun. Oh no, wait... depressing.

One night we had Happy Pizza. It made me anxious. It wasn't much of a happy time. Another night we ate tarantulas.

Tarantulas, Yum!

Tarantulas, tastes like chicken.

Also, one time, I ate cockroaches. It wasn't till we got to Chiang Rai, but here's what it looked like:

They tasted like flowers smell

The aftermath.

On New Year's Eve we took it pretty easy. We started out at this sweet place called the Zeppelin Bar. They have this huge collection of 70's and 80's Rock and Heavy Metal on vinyl and just play that all night. The guy accepted my request for "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden. My friend Ronnie would have loved this place. Oh yeah, they had Canadian Club there too. After 4 of those we moved on to find somewhere that was doing a countdown. We ended up at a place in which we were the only white people. We got there just before the countdown and left promptly after. I got weirded out because I looked around after the clock struck 12:00 and everyone was looking at us. It was almost like a scene out of a movie. You know, where the camera does a 360 pan and everyone is staring into the lens? Yeah, just like that.

They were just giving them away

Okay, so then we went to Phuket. Now, before I trash Phuket any more (and I will), I have to say that we actually had a pretty good time there. The reason we were going in the first place was to meet up with Laura's parents and some of Laura's Norweigian family, who vacate there often. They were fun, the beaches were really nice (however, crowded), the water was crystal clear, and I got a badass tan (that has already mostly faded away). So, you know, it's not where you are or what you do, but who you're with that makes something worthwhile.

The Norweigian connection

So many beach umbrellas

If you ever want to experience open contempt for people other than Americans, Phuket is the place to go. Everyone there hates Russians. If you're talking to someone who isn't Russian, as soon as they find out you're also not Russian, they'll tell you they hate Russians. I found it funny because everyone was so comfortable just letting you know that they hated Russians. Every single Russian. Hate them. Usually when I tell people that I hate another race or culture, I at least try and sugar coat it with something like "I'm not racist but..." or "I don't want to stereotype but...". We only really got the "Russian" experience once. It was on this awful tour we took to Koh Phi Phi.

So, I know you're really not supposed to go on these package tours cause they're usually a rip-off and often don't turn out the way you expect, but we wanted to see Koh Phi Phi so we took a chance.

They picked us up at 7:30am. That sucks enough on it's own. After a 45 minute drive and a 45 minute wait, we were ready to go! Or at least, we would if one of the boat's engines wasn't broken. After another 45 minute wait (we're now 45 minutes behind schedule) we were off!! As we pulled away from the dock, they inform us the boat capacity is 45, but there are 3 extra people because of a booking error. The boat's capacity is officially 42 according to the sticker on the side, which still wouldn't have been comfortable. Also, it didn't help that there were at least 5 overweight Italians weighing down one side of the boat. Not 10 minutes into the trip we had to stop at some random island to fix the engine again. It only took them an hour. They had to bring in three new carburators and a mechanic. While they tried to fix the engine Laura's dad and Laura's second cousin once removed, Brage (we figured it out) discussed what the real problem was. When we finally got on the boat again the Russians literally yelled at the people who had moved into where they were sitting before.

Our first actual activity was snorkelling. There were at least 6 other tour boats in the bay- there were so many people it was more like swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine. This was followed by lunch which consisted of cramming our feed-holes with excrement from the guests at the 5 star resorts. Buffet Style. When we get back on the boat the Russians yelled at new people in their spots. This time with finger snaps! After colliding with a long tail boat near Koh Phi Phi Ley (no one was hurt) we made it to Maya bay, where they filmed the movie "The Beach". It was nice but we only had 30 minutes because we were so behind schedule. Actually, everyone was back on the boat in 30 minutes except for the Russians who showed up 20 minutes late, unapologetic.

The Beach beach

Approaching the Beach beach

Then it was on to Khai island where we were finally able to buy a much needed beer. It was the only highlight of the tour. When we boarded the boat yet again, there was a 5 foot radius around where the Russians were sitting. Brage, who was pretending to be Canadian, was eavesdropping on a family of Swedes who were trash talking everyone on the boat. Especially the Russians.

Then we ran our of gas.

We got back to the dock about an hour and a half late. After an hour in Phuket traffic, about 15 minutes from our hotel, our shuttle bus driver informs us that he has another pick-up to make at the airport and dumps us on the side of the road. He flags a tuk tuk to take us the rest of the way but only has enough for part of the fare, so we fork over the rest. I doubt he was reimbursed. I know we weren't.

Another gay sunset

Anyway, after Phuket, we moved on to Chiang Mai in the north of Thailand. We loved it in Chiang Mai. People are nice to you there even if they're not trying to sell you anything. The first few days we spent with Laura's parents. We saw a bunch of temples (there are about 300 in Chiang Mai), ate some good food, and did an elephant thing.

An Elephant

It's like a suction cup!

Elephant Trunk

Laura's parents left after a few days and but we stuck around in Chiang Mai. There are way more North Americans in Chaing Mai than in the South of Thailand, or anywhere else we've been for that matter. A few nights ago a dreadlocked hippie was playing music on a little speaker thing around his neck. I asked him "Is that Bassnectar?" and we were friends. His name is Jonesy- he wss with a group of about 12 people all from San Francisco. They reminded me of the kind of people we would meet at Shambhala. There's also a lot of hippie vegan fare in Chiang Mai. There is a restaurant called Blue Diamond that the raw-diet-organic-hipster-vegan folks back home would die for. We ate there as much as we could.

Everyone told me about how wonderful and smiling the Thai people are before we left for the trip. It wasn't until we got to the North of Thailand that I felt like I understood what they meant. When we were in the south islands, there were so many tourists and it felt like the locals were just there to run the resorts, restaurants and taxis. This resulted in what I felt was sometimes either bitter attitudes or superficial encounters. Thai people actually live in Chiang Mai so I felt less like a big dollar sign with arms and legs and a head.

After Chiang Mai it was on to Chiang Rai which is even farther north. Chiang Rai didn't really turn out to be what we expected... We thought it was going to be even more of a hippie haven than Chiang Mai, but it seems more of a transit town than anything. It seemed like tourists just come in for one or two nights before moving on to their next destination. We were going to do some trekking here, but it was a bit expensive so we went on a cycling tour of the country side instead- it was awesome. We finished at the White Temple which made coming here worthwhile 10 times over. It was so cool that it deserves it's own blog post so stay tuned...

Oh yeah, at this one temple in Chaing Mai there were monks praying. You could get super close to their faces and take pictures and they wouldn't flinch or break their concentration or anything. I only got four pictures off before another monk chased me out of the temple with a bo-staff.

Monks, close up, with a wide angle lens

Monks, close-up, with a wide angle lens 2

Monks, close-up, with a wide angle lens 3

Monks, close-up, with a wide angle lens 4

521 Responses to Never go to Phuket

what vitamin is like viagra

viagra side effects recreational use. edhelppet.mdhelpserv.com - how to use viagra for best results,

viagra long term use side effects

actor in viagra commercial. edhelpnick.mdhelpserv.com - how long does viagra stay in blood,

which pill works better viagra or cialis

will viagra cause enlarged prostate. edhelpli.mdhelpserv.com - what happens when if a woman takes a viagra,

side effects of excessive viagra

viagra 25 mg reviews. edhelpen.mdhelpserv.com - testicular pain after taking viagra,

how can i tell if my husband is using viagra

viagra pill car commercial. edhelprei.mdhelpserv.com - how much is viagra pill at cvs,

viagra and vision loss

who's the model in the viagra commercial. edhelpap.mdhelpserv.com - viagra cuddle up commercial actress name,

Nitip Tips

Nih biasanya sih banyak orang yang mimisan dan tidak tau bagaimana cara mengatasi mimisan, Yap ini dia artikelnya Tips Mengobati Mimisan

actress in viagra football jersey commercial

is taking viagra daily safe. edhelplet.mdhelpserv.com - what happens if i take 2 viagra pills,

how to make a viagra costume

herbal viagra uk wholesale. edhelpci.mdhelpserv.com - lady in football jersey in viagra commercial,

medicaid pays for viagra

best viagra alternatives over counter. edhelpga.mdhelpserv.com - real experience with viagra,

viagra off patent us

boots stores selling viagra. edhelpap.mdhelpserv.com - is it safe to take viagra at a young age,

viagra commercial push ups

what is the work of viagra drugs. edhelprie.mdhelpserv.com - viagra dosage date extract subcutaneous,

how many viagra can i take

new pill it's like viagra on steroids. edhelpco.mdhelpserv.com - another pill like viagra,

herbal viagra overdose odom

does viagra raise or lower your blood pressure. edhelpmon.mdhelpserv.com - how often can i take viagra 100mg,

can viagra make you dizzy

how long do viagra take to work. edhelpjost.mdhelpserv.com - can you take viagra when your young,

melanoma and viagra link

who is the black woman in the viagra commercial. edhelpun.mdhelpserv.com - what is the indication for viagra,

24 year old using viagra

how long does viagra to kick in. edhelpaz.mdhelpserv.com - viagra tv commercial models,

effects of using viagra at a young age

the most effective way to take viagra. edhelpjost.mdhelpserv.com - do medicare advantage plans cover viagra,

what is herbal viagra used for

what does viagra do to a man. edhelppric.mdhelpserv.com - cialis vs viagra headache,

viagra 100mg benefits in hindi

cure side effects of viagra. edhelpac.mdhelpserv.com - just found out my boyfriend uses viagra,

viagra or cialis or levitra for women

is it ok to take viagra at 18. edhelpli.mdhelpserv.com - viagra magic blue pill,

is viagra illegal in england

high cholesterol and viagra. edhelpscin.mdhelpserv.com - does viagra work for diabetics,

does viagra decrease fertility

can you travel with viagra. edhelpreau.mdhelpserv.com - viagra patent expiration date europe,

how to tell if he's taking viagra

boots pharmacy selling viagra. edhelpwe.mdhelpserv.com - does the army test for viagra,

viagra for men over 65

generic viagra paypal accepted. edhelpga.mdhelpserv.com - viagra manufacturers in india,

does viagra have permanent effects

can you use viagra without having ed. edhelpap.mdhelpserv.com - how to make natural viagra at home in tamil,

viagra for canine heart disease

there viagra in the water song. edhelpun.mdhelpserv.com - new mens health viagra,

how long does it take before viagra kicks in

is it safe to take viagra at 58. edhelpla.mdhelpserv.com - i used viagra for the first time,

viagra make you last longer

50 mg viagra effectiveness. edhelpnick.mdhelpserv.com - who cannot take viagra,

75 mg of viagra

is it safe to take two viagra pills. viagra online - amazon ed pills viagra,

levitra dosage compared to viagra

forums viagra vs cialis. edhelpnick.mdhelpserv.com - viagra at sam's club,

viagra bought in mexico

can you take viagra while taking prednisone. edhelpmis.mdhelpserv.com - taking viagra in your 20s,

can i use viagra and cialis at the same time

mercury drug viagra manila philippines. edhelpbrit.mdhelpserv.com - viagra heart attack symptoms,

sometimes viagra doesnt work

viagra does it expire. edhelpga.mdhelpserv.com - viagra most common dosage,

viagra for women pink pill does it work

forum viagra vs cialis. edhelpli.mdhelpserv.com - directions for 100mg viagra,

what happens if girl eats viagra

can i get viagra in the uk. edhelpnorb.mdhelpserv.com - supplement that works like viagra,

how can you take viagra

viagra commercial actress name brunette. edhelpco.mdhelpserv.com - side effects of taking viagra soft tabs,

do i need prescription for viagra in canada

which is more powerful cialis or viagra. edhelpci.mdhelpserv.com - taking 25 mg viagra every other day,

viagra and heart attack

what is the difference between tadalafil and viagra. edhelpfi.mdhelpserv.com - how to identify original viagra,

viagra side effects stuffy nose cure

what happens if a dog has viagra. edhelpchron.mdhelpserv.com - viagra dosages and costs,

manforce 50mg generic viagra

how do you get viagra in canada. edhelpen.mdhelpserv.com - what in liquid viagra,

what happens if viagra is taken by a woman

generic viagra paypal canada. edhelper.mdhelpserv.com - how long does it take 25 mg viagra to work,

how to tell if a man took viagra

age limit for using viagra. edhelpmis.mdhelpserv.com - how to use viagra tablet for girl,

viagra not working low testosterone

can you cut 50 mg viagra in half. edhelpdis.mdhelpserv.com - is it ok to drink alcohol and take viagra,

how do i get viagra legally

150 mg viagra dosage. edhelpking.mdhelpserv.com - viagra to control blood pressure,

viagra tablet how to use

im 25 do i need viagra. edhelprei.mdhelpserv.com - what fruit acts as a natural viagra,

effects of viagra on normal person

what happens when dogs eat viagra. edhelpco.mdhelpserv.com - viagra black woman commercial,

how well does viagra work for you

viagra for canine heart disease. edhelpli.mdhelpserv.com - viagra and blood pressure drugs,

walatra susu kambing walatra

standard dose of viagra

what will happen if i take 3 viagra. edhelpdis.mdhelpserv.com - chinese herbal viagra suppliers,

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You may insert videos with [video:URL]

More information about formatting options

By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.